Starting at square one.

STARTING AT SQUARE ONE

I would like to reflect on a conversation I had briefly with someone about stress and unnecessary stress. Our views were a bit different, quite opposite of one another. They did meet in the middle however in a sense. I try to believe in and be committed to: "Why stress that which has a solution." and theirs was "Why stress what you can not fix."
With focus being that the majority of our energy being directed towards issues of urgency. In essence saying, yes stress it but also take care of the issue. I assume our beliefs are the same, only worded differently.

Taking care of an issue is my subject. Has a task ever seemed so monumental that completing it caused you to panic. Thus leaving the task unfinished only to be stressed on another day? There were times when washing half a sink of dishes caused me to retreat to the couch and not move for 2 hours. Just watching The History Channel wasting time. What about that task made me feel anxious and almost defeated? Past failures in life, not feeling like I need to do it because I have settled for the way life is.

I never really figured out WHY any task made me panic. What i did was I started setting goals. One thing at a time, one day at a time. I Started at square one. First, filed all those important papers we are drowning in as an adult. Then moved onto full life organization. Everything from my pictures, movies, music, Video game equipment, cameras, guitars, and on and on. Everything now has a place. Its very own space within my universe in which it can rest. Until needed.

If I had thought about all of the work I have done PRIOR to doing it I probably would have never started. Now it is all about maintenance and routine. Life is funny, sad, tragic and confusing. We should enjoy every moment of it and allow ourselves to fulfill our wants and our needs. Finding balance is key to the rest falling into place. Having routine, and setting our biological clocks is paramount to fighting depression and anxiety. I found with each small project I felt more and more accomplished. Square one was my motivation.

Right now or tomorrow look around. See a project that needs tackled and take it on. Once you have started organizing your life, you will find that the rest is easy.

A few tips:

Throw junk away. If it doesnt serve a purpose toss it. The energy it creates being present can be done without. Junk mails, magazines, papers, cups, etc...

Maintain daily. We have all said "My house got away from me". A daily regimen can maintain your environment and your stress level.

Decorate. Atmosphere is everything. Pictures, art, tapestrys, whatever gives you a good vibe. I am giving tips, but this is about you. (:

No rush. Your pace, your time, your life. Puzzles are never a race.

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A word from the author:
Being in recovery from bi-polar this article comes direct from part of my recovery. I write this to try and relate to others who have battled depression or MI in some form. I have lived it, witnessed it, and experienced its tragedies. My hope is that at least 1 person out there relates and can pursue happiness with a bit of what I have written. Your input is welcome and requested. Anxious to see where readers are coming from in this vast world. Thanks for reading MYT.
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We are who we are

...and the interjection of a thought or an opinion can never change that. Nor should it play on our weaknesses and cause us to feel insecure about our own person.

All through my life I have heard myself and others mutter the phrase "I don't care what they think." Most likely to soothe our own bruised ego about something said that was not in our favor. Maybe just to ensure someone you really DO NOT care and to drop it. Seems as if acknowledging it is as good as CARING what they think. But I am a critic of any and all things human.

Discovering yourself can be as easy as shutting out the thoughts or even thoughts that you think they are having. What was that? You know, when you think someone has a certain opinion on you that may be totally 100% incorrect. Some may call it paranoia, I call it instinct. Although it can be a horrible habit, to be neurotic about other peoples ideas and thoughts on yourself. Look at main stream marketing and trends. People molding themselves because of what other people are THINKING.

Our own thoughts on other people are completely irrelevant too. It gives us some sort of comfort with that persons existence in our lives. Other than that, it matters not what we say or think. They are who they are and that is THEIR responsibility. Not mine. Maybe humans are just bored with life, and we create this ideas and gossip because we can. Why else do we do anything in life? If it is not a survival technique, we simply just do it.

If people stopped "DOING" what would we talk about. What would we think that they were thinking if we were doing nothing about them trying not to think about us thinking so we could all do nothing? - CEASE TO EXIST

We are who we are. Be it!

Resolutions... 1-1-11

I'm gonna do this and I'm gonna do that and and and and...

I, personally, am going to go with the flow. No more TRYING to find love, No more TRYING to be this, or be TRYING to be that. TO be honest, I do not have to try. Either do or do not. Either be or be getting along. Stop and smell the flowers. Use every Cliche known to man, and just roll wi...th the punches. Tow the line. Go with the flow. JUST BE!

The moment unrealistic expectations have left we are closer to our goals than any amount of self coaching can get us. It matters not what, I repeat WHAT any one person may think of you, me, us, or them. It only matters what we think of ourselves. For that is our reality, that is our fate, and that was our goal. That goal is to be the BEST Me, you, We, us and them... That we can be.

Down with labels, down with stigmas, rumors and gossip are poison. Stop being your own worst enemy. Begin living for now, and stop living in the "WHAT WAS" era. The time for change is not now, nor yesterday, nor tomorrow. Change will come when you are not looking, and only then will you feel its impact and realize... Happiness is free to all!

Have your cake and eat it

This subject is very closely relative to my last post "Straight Shooter". In light of recent events I found it necessary to conclude it with the ultimate in selfishness. That one character flaw that drives me as crazy as the next person. Individuals who have to "Have their cake and eat it to".

This saying is timeless, and has been used for years. I find myself using it more and more when I reflect upon the instance that inspired me to write this entry. Allow me to elaborate a little on what exactly I am speaking of.

For 3 months I had an interest in someone. This someone had lead me to believe that I was the Bees Knees, the Cats PJ's, so I continued to let my guard down and learn to have feelings for them. I had shared my horror stories of deception with them, as I had trusted them enough to do so. They had empathy for my plight and wondered how anyone could do such horrible things to such a great person. Little did I know they were doing the EXACT same thign to me, all the while listening to my anguish from prior experiences.

So this person who had me, and my trust and undivided attention, decided to have another on the side. Telling him the exact same things as I was told. To lure me in and get me where they wanted me. What was this all for? A PLACE TO LIVE! So by having her cake and eating it to, she has lost BOTH opportunities and lost the trust of many people.

In the end her selfishness had cost he my trust and respect, the people I introduced her too, and she had burned MANY bridges along the way. I am not sure as to what her motive was other than making sure she was going to get what she wanted. However, in my eyes this person will never be trusted, EVER again. So why put people through torment for some personal gain? Why "Have your cake and eat it too"?

My point is this. Be honest and be TRUE to yourself and others. Once you begin losing the respect of your peers, you begin losing control of your life. You will have to continually jump from person to person, group to group, and possibly town to town. The search will land you in other peoples arms, only to repeat the process over and over again. There is an alternative. Out your selfish ambitions away and keep and be honest with your fellow man and woman. Lead them into the light, instead of leaving them in the darkness. I realize there are things in life we need, but at what cost do we obtain them?

When we have a party, we share our cake. Share your cake with the world, and the world will share theirs with you.

Straight Shooter

Straight shooter. What comes to mind is the guy who will tell you how it is, without sugar coating it to "protect your feelings". He breaks it down, and leaves you NOT curious, but more educated about the reality of life. NO questions, NO lies, just the facts mam.

The reality is that those who claim to "Sugar Coat" life to protect your feelings are merely protecting their own. They cant handle the way they feel after giving it to you straight. Instead they may feed you line after line, until you eventually find out, and feel completely betrayed. How on earth is that protecting someone elses feelings when in the end a mess has been created that will have universal ramifications for YEARS!

The truth hurts. This statement is true. None of us really like to hear what people really think of us. Our egos are such that they need to flourish and grow, not be devastated to the point of despair. However, the truth WILL set you free. Once we know the truth about ourselves, we can then begin to grow and become what we want to be. Or choose to flounder in the obscurity of our genetic flaws. Growing from the seeds of malcontent, takes an exceptional individual.

From this point forward, before you "Sugar Coat" life, think about whose best interest you are serving. Living a lie imprisons you into an ideology that is based on fear and deception. Once we can stand up and are honest with our peers and loved ones, we will find it easier to be honest with ourselves. Somewhere in this brain of ours exist the person who we are supposed to be. Find that person, and leave the person we have been conditioned to be, behind.

Compromising Compromises

The thin red line. That very thing that you know controls the balance of all things in the universe. Compromise.

All things in life do it. Animals, insects, fish, humans. We must compromise in order to retain the order that has been etched out over millions of years. Without it, anarchy would reign supreme. How compromise is reached seems to be a mystery with no rules, bounds, or ties. Any number of methods can be used in order to obtain this order. Shall we use WAR as an example? Maybe just CONFLICT in general.

Conflict is usually the direct result of a compliance failure from another party. With conflict always being the threat for failure to comply or "compromise". Compromise is one person needing this, and for you to do that. You need for them to do this before you will do that. If an agreement can not be made, it results in something very negative. The balance is shifted and inequities are served upon one of the conflicting individuals. All in lieu of being able to compromise.

Maybe Compromise is instinct perverted by modern technology. Resulting in a more dramatic, demanding, attitude. Surrounded by and living in nations that use conflict as the primary solution to "non compliance". How else would we expect our species to be after years of flagrantly violent saturation? Compassionate? More less "Give me mine or I will take it." type attitude. Just a theory.

Ultimately compromise is two reasonable minds coming together. Working out a solution to prophetic issues and lifelong cataclysms. All the while retaining ones own self identity, and never resorting to conflict. Compromising Compromises.

Pursuit of Happiness

Running and Chasing without even standing up.

That endless pursuit in life that gives us that charge. The charge that assures us that all of pain in life is worth it. If only for those moments alone, we can sigh in relief.

Can this pursuit cause us extra grief if we are incapable of achieving what we had set out for? Quite possibly. Being let down by our own inabilities, albeit unintentional, feels as if we had abandoned ourselves. Possibly thinking we had let ourselves down and failed in life's endeavors. So in the pursuit of this relief from life's pain another realm of hurt can be created. In the last Thirty years I have experienced this endless cycle many a time!In 30 Years my net is still empty from my countless hunts.

Ironically the pursuit of happiness is non existent without sadness. Loathe something if you must for it only is what it is. Without the existence of tragedy we can not beget comedy. Thus leaves us in a world void of emotion. No pursuit, No motivation, existence on the simplest level. Birth, Live, Die, Process continues. Perhaps this would be beneficial to our planet and own kind. In a world void of emotion wars are not fought. People exist on a level playing field. No need for conflict in the emotionless utopia. Everyone is equal on an immaculate scale of conception and genetics. With no concept of good, bad or evil.

Acknowledging good, bad and evil, gives life to our perception of happiness. In order to accept one idea, we must reject another. Influence through life, experience, and unpredictable occurrences mold our perceptions. As we grow our life is bound to our emotions and they determine how we live. Every choice we make is RAW emotion at its best. All factors in our life drive us to do the things we never thought we could. And the things we would not normally do. Without it, their would be no "Pursuit of Happiness".

"If you find yourself searching for happiness, STOP. It will find you."