JUSTIFICATION and VALIDATION

In the pursuit of happiness we all seek some form of Validation. That action, word, praise, or acknowledgement, to make one feel right in his existence. In the midst of our pursuit we are constantly justifying why we do what we do. This defense fetches validation from our peers to justify our actions and ensure people we are normal in the way we are.

If we pay close attention to others around us, we can see bits and pieces of ourselves in each and every person. Sometimes, something about them will put us in touch with a side of ourselves that we do not like. Those qualities we are unaware of until we witness it in someone else.

In this instance I was having a conversation with a person about their lifestyle and choices. This individual spent 40 minutes justifying anything and everything in his life. Even if one contradicted the other. It was quite a manic display of insecurity and lack of self identity. I reminded them that they had NO reason to justify their life to me. I was simply giving my opinion on a health issue. The rest spilled over into a host of other issues or "excuses" NOT to do things to better themselves.

Had their justification and reasoning been in the name of bettering ones self, I would have not been so intrigued by this conversation. After 40 minutes I had to end it. The context was habitually negative and always on the bad side of things. My advice, albeit my personal opinions and practices, fell on deaf ears or was addressed with another reason or excuse.

Throughout the conversation they did NOT find any validation from me. Not sure why not, everything I said was the truth and positive. For some reason they felt attacked by me. Rightfully so having looked at it in their perspective. However, one should not request the truth in lieu of being able to handle the consequences of its knowledge.

After this conversation ended I realized that part of it made me emotional because it reminded me of myself at one point in time. I realized, I used to do this same song and dance. How profound. This reinforced my already stern stance against self pity, self loathing, and believing in only the negative forces of life.

I can not fix this individual, I can only hope some of what i said hit home with them. The truth hurts and can be fatal. However, the truth will also set you free.